Let’s Talk about Love — Saudi Style

Yesterday’s issue of the New York Times featured a look at romance among the youth of Saudi Arabia. It’s not the first time the Times has addressed this topic. The Western media has an intense fascination when it comes to Saudi Arabia and romance, if Valentine’s Day coverage is any clue.

Yesterday’s coverage includes separate articles for the female and male perspectives, along with a slideshow of “youth in the kingdom” — all of whom are men. Good job making women invisible. Isn’t that supposed to be the Saudis’ job, media? I guess it doesn’t just take an abaya after all. We’ll focus on the article about women, “Love on Girls’ Side of the Saudi Divide.”

The problems start as early as the photo. Accompanying the article is a picture of “Shaden.” Her face covered in black cloth, she sits between her younger sister (whose face and head are bare, as though to contrast with her sister), and her father. Shaden is gesturing with her hands, and her sister looks solemn. Good way to make the father look like a bad guy right off the bat. The caption only identifies Shaden as “veiled at 17.” Interesting wording. First, “veiled” is imprecise. Not all women who “veil” cover all of, or even any of, their faces. (The only photo including a women’s face shows Sara al-Tukhaifi — looking depressed, of course. Unlike the slideshow of laughing men, there are no photos of happy women.)

Second, the photo makes it obvious what Shaden is wearing. What does the caption add by emphasizing her clothing? Well, the passive voice makes it sound like “veiling” was something done to Shaden, and the placement of “at 17” — instead of, say, “Shaden, 17, spoke with her father” — hints at the classic Orientalist tragedy. Veiled at 17, married off at 18 — you know the rest. (I don’t want to deny the reality of this experience, because it does happen. But as far as this article is concerned, it’s not Shaden’s story, so it’s not relevant.)


The Times has a tendency towards Orientalist portrayals of Saudi Arabia. The women interviewed are introduced as

swaying and gyrating, without the slightest self-consciousness, among overstuffed sofas, heavy draperies, tables larded with figurines and ornately-covered tissue boxes… their head-to-toe abayas, balled up and tossed onto chairs, … like black cloth puddles.

Really, do the sofas, drapes, and “ornately-covered” tissue boxes have anything to do with the lives of teenage Saudi girls? I think not. Instead, they help to set the “exotic” scene — women liberated from their “black puddles” become gyrating dancers. Come on; you don’t even need to have heard of Edward Said to call this Orientalism.

You see, in the mysterious desert kingdom — articles rarely forget to emphasize the sand, the wind, the backwards glamour of it all! — women aren’t quite the same as women here in the United States. It’s not that the government limits their rights and society is more conservative. That’s clear, of course. It’s that the women themselves are of a different sort — or so the article implies.

Women are characterized as children. They “falter,” “sway slightly on high heels,” “totter,” and “nod earnestly, dark ringlets bouncing” (Shirley Temple, anyone?). Oh, and the standard female stereotypes, of course: they “giggle,” “shriek” and “burst into tears.” You’d think the possibility of talking to a man drives every single Saudi women to nervous collapse.

This image of women is reminiscent of Jane Austen, and indeed, the article ends on that note: Shaden sighs deeply, and references the Pride and Prejudice film: “When Darcy comes to Elizabeth and says ‘I love you’ — that’s exactly the kind of love I want,” she says.

Nineteenth-century British romance is presented as an impossible ideal, the kind of thing Saudi women can only long for. The NYT tells us that for Saudi women, progress is what we in the United States consider history. It’s an affirmation of the superiority of the English-speaking world. The journalist leaves out the fact that it’s not just Saudi women who sigh over Mr. Darcy. American author Shannon Hale wrote an entire novel about the Mr. Darcy complex in modern-day American women (and she wasn’t the only one to do so). But the message comes across differently when it’s a Saudi women, her restrictions already explained, sighing over a romance from foreign cinema.

The nature of same-sex relationships also undergoes a transformation when Saudi women are involved. Journalist Katherine Zoepf references a “supposed increase in same-sex love affairs among young people frustrated at the strict division between the genders.” As though gender division is a good enough reason to explain all same-sex “love affairs.” But, wait, that’s not the only cause:

Ms. Tukhaifi and Shaden know of girls in their college who have passionate friendships, possibly even love affairs, with other girls but they say that this, like the cross-dressing, is just a “game” born of frustration, something that will inevitably end when the girls in question become engaged.

Maybe I’m missing something, but it seems a bit off that “frustration” would lead to “passionate” friendships. Eventual engagements may end same-sex relationships, but that doesn’t mean the women were only playacting. Never in the article is there any acknowledge that homosexuality can and does exist even in conservative parts of the world. This does an excellent job enforcing the (false) idea that not only is homosexuality a choice, but it’s specifically a product of Western liberal society. We know that Saudi society does not accept homosexuality. Therefore, Saudi women can’t actually be gay — they’re only straight women playing “games” because they’re bored. It’s unfortunate that Zoepf relies only on hearsay to discuss this topic. The phrase “love affair” further belittles same-sex relationships.

Zoepf does a decent job not presenting Islam as a strict monolith. She notes distinctions between culture and religion and describes Saudi Islam as but one interpretation of Islam. Nevertheless, some ultraconservative interpretations are thrown in as undisputed facts. Zoepf quotes Tukhaifi as saying “Islam forbids a stranger to hear your voice,” and she never explains further. This rule is certainly not a universally held fact of Islam. And it leaves the reader wondering — how does a woman ask for something in a shop? How does she communicate with her teachers? How are these women talking to Zoepf, a journalist? The clarification “male” would have helped, but it still raises questions that are never answered in the story. At another point, music is referenced as haram, but this is not explained either, even though the introduction describes the women dancing to music.

Another issue with the story is the lack of class diversity. The women interviewed appear to be at least upper middle class. They all have leisure time and access to new technology; money does not seem to be a concern. Contrary to stereotypes, this isn’t the situation for all Saudis. It would have been interesting to hear about the lives of lower-class Saudi women, who cannot be as easily “spirited around the city,” and how their pursuit of romance differs from that of wealthier Saudi women.

According to the sidebar with the subhead “Through a Veil, Lightly,” this article is the fourth installment of the series “Generation Faithful,” composed of “articles examining the lives of youth across the Muslim world at a time of religious revival.” While the article addresses the issues institutionalized religion create, it never explores the personal faith of the women interviewed. Close enough, I guess?

One reader commented on the story, “It’s humanizing and relieving to understand that, despite the severity of their oppression, these women still have joy and desires.” Really. Is this what journalism aims for? Showing that Saudi women are still human beings, still have “joys and desires”? Alas. That was obvious, I thought. Do people really think Saudi women are robots under their abayas and face covers? Oh my. We still have a long way to go.

Photo from the New York Times.

Manga Mania: Muslim Manga's Reach

Muslimah Media Watch thanks Safiya for the tip.

Asia Alfasi is a talented manga artist in the U.K. The BBC covered a talent competition she’d won (barikallah!), but managed to irritate me through mislabeling Ms. Alfasi’s drawings and misuse of the word “Arabian.”

Ms. Alfasi won a competition given by the International Manga and Anime Festival for her character “Monir,” who, according to the BBC, is a “feisty young Arabian from the Muslim Abyssinian times who draws strength from his faith to fight injustice and battle for his family’s survival.”

Does the BBC follow AP guidelines? Even if they don’t, I’d assume they’d know that an Arabian is a horse, not a person. Hmph!

Ms. Alfasi’s characters are beautifully drawn, but I’m tired of the “exotic” angle. She says, “I wanted to introduce some Arabian mysticism to the market.” A Muslim character from the Abyssinian times would be interesting enough, considering the fact that there is no such thing in Islamic history as the “Abyssinian Era” (unless they’re talking about when the Prophet and his followers went to Abyssinia…? Confusing!) Perhaps they meant Abbasid?

Anyway, a Muslim character from the Abbasid era would be interesting enough without exoticizing him. You could learn history and ancient culture…the nerd in me screams for more! What’s so mystical about him? What’s with the Aladdin outfit? Too close to Disney for comfort, personally.

But I digress. Ms. Alfasi has drawn two characters that wear hejab, which are included in the story; one in a colored frame with Monir and one on her own. Yet neither of these characters has a name: the caption under the color comic says simply, “Monir” (as if he’s the only one in the frame), while the one underneath the hejabed character says, “Muslim character created by Asia.” I’m unsure whether this is the BBC’s fault or Ms. Alfasi’s. In newspapers, Muslim women are often depicted as swathed in fabric and nameless; must we be nameless in manga, too?

I’m inclined to believe this fault lies with the BBC after seeing the last black-and-white drawing of a young lady with that caption, “Monir.” I have a feeling that this young lady, with long hair, bangles, and earrings, is not a cross-dressing version of Monir. But perhaps it’s Monir’s alter ego, Monira? That’s a comic I’d love to see.

Ms. Alfasi has also created hijabstrip, which I found through the Muslim Manga website. This looks promising, but I can’t find any more on it. She’s also the author of JinNarration, and a book Native Narratives, that will be released in September about the adventures of a Muslim girl in both Libya and Scotland.

Through Muslim Girl magazine, I also found out about Ninjabi, a very cute manga-esque blog. It features several characters, the main of which is Noor, who is shown with and without hejab.

Finally! Realistic portrayals—through Ninjabi and hijabstrip—of Muslim women. I like Ninjabi’s drawings better because of the cleaner lines and the fact that they are more like comics, intending a joke rather than like manga that tells a story.

Ninjabi is refreshing. Noor is neurotic like teenage girls often are (cringing at memories of my teen years), her best friend is non-Muslim, and there is a Muslim character, Anny, who does not wear hejab. The best part of this: none of this is a big deal! Everybody just lives their cartoon lives. You can see more of Ninjabi here.

Because of manga’s prevalence and acceptance into mainstream American culture (I can’t really speak for other western cultures), I think Muslim comics’ entry into this medium is a great step. It’s silly to have to remind everyone that, “Hey, we’re just like you, we like manga, too,” but these comic strips, graphic novels, and websites do half that work for us. May these sisters (and others who aspire to similar work) find success, enshallah.

She's Funny That Way: Interviews With Muslim Comedians Tissa Hami & Maysoon Zayid

Yesterday, PBS aired a special called Stand Up: Muslim American Comics Come of Age. Maysoon Zayid and Tissa Hami are two Muslim women comics profiled in the documentary, and Muslimah Media Watch was lucky enough to get interviews via email with them both.

Muslimah Media Watch: Salaam waleykum. I want to say first that it’s a great opportunity to interview you, even via email. You do incredible work in your personal lives and through your comedy. May God reward you both.

Maysoon: Yislamoo. I have gotten such incredible love and support from my sisters such as you in the community, and it makes me proud, to be given the opportunity to represent us in a positive light. Really, thank you. Do you have a son? I’m looking for a decent mother-in-law.

MMW: How do you work to dispel different stereotypes about Muslim women in your comedy?

Maysoon:The most obvious thing I do is I don’t wear a burqa and I’m definitely not oppressed. Plus I’m quite obviously an independent thinker which means as soon as I walk on stage I dispel a lot of those stereotypes. That and I make sure to tell people that Sally Field, in Not without my daughter does not speak for me, because it is so ridiculous.

Tissa: By getting onstage and speaking up and speaking out and being funny. There is this perception that Muslim women are silent and subservient.

MMW: Is it your intent to “play ambassador” and represent Muslim women through your comedy? Do you seek to represent only your specific ethnic/nationality group or sect of Islam? Why or why not?

Maysoon: It is truly a dream of mine to do just that. I would love to have the opportunity to travel more widely and be a good will ambassador. I would love to be able to focus on the positive aspects of my faith, such as charity. I mean Maysoon’s Kids is such a huge part of my life, and the genesis of that charity was the concept of Zakat combined with inspiration from Oprah’s Christmas kindness program. That alone illustrates that I live with one foot in each world. That all being said, I’m an anarchist at heart; so I’d much rather be a goodwill ambassador for humanity at large, regardless of religion, ethnicity, or height. (I’ll probably just end up on General Hospital)

Tissa: I am a comedian. My intent is to be funny. I'm not out to represent anybody. The only person I represent is myself. If people can relate to what I say onstage – no matter their race, creed, or nationality – then that's great. If not, then that's okay too.

I've been surprised by the wide range of people who are able to relate to my jokes. When I first started out, I was afraid I might only appeal to other Iranian-Americans of my generation. What I've found is that many people relate to the 'fish out of water' story, so to speak. I had a white Christian woman from Texas tell me that she related to my joke about having people tell me to "go home", because when she first moved from Texas to the North, people would hear her accent and tell her to go back to where she came from. I had another woman who was the only Catholic in an all-Protestant town tell me that she related to my stories about being an outsider. So again, if people can relate to what I say, that's great.

MMW: I know that you draw on 9/11 as a large source of inspiration for the drive to do your comedy projects. Are there specific people from whom you draw similar inspiration?

Maysoon: I don’t draw on 911 for any of my inspiration. I live in Cliffside Park. I saw the towers every single day of my life, and it’s one of the few things I choose not to be yuk yuk about. I draw inspiration from my dear Daddy, who I love more than lunch meat, my kids in Palestine, who treat hair gel the way a crack whore treats crack. The insanity of the occupation. Dave Mathews. Adam Sandler. Dean Obeidallah. And as cheesy as it sounds, Mariah Carey, but we’ll talk about that later. Oh. and Suhair Hammad, because the risks that she takes on stage, are always earned and she has such an incredible respect for her audience. So I’ve drawn a lot of inspiration form her work.

Tissa: Yes, from my two favorite comedians – George W. Bush and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.

MMW: When you give interviews or speak to non-Muslim audiences about your experiences as Muslim women, do you feel you’re expected to live up to ideas they may have about Muslim women? Do you feel these outlets take your voice seriously even though you might not look like what most non-Muslims think of when they think of a Muslim woman?

Maysoon: I like to screw with people’s perceptions. I don’t represent all Muslim women. But neither does the crazy woman who keeps calling me a slut on YouTube. I’m not trying to represent all Muslim women. I’m trying to give voice to the silent majority. Unfortunately, I’m a bit loony.

Tissa: In general, non-Muslim audiences take me for who I am. It's the Muslims who have loads of expectations and who are the biggest critics. What I like to tell any critic is, look at what I do. It's just me and a microphone. If you have something to say that's different from what I have to say, then by all means, grab a microphone and get onstage and make your voice heard.

MMW: Maysoon, because you visit Palestine so often, I’m assuming you have very traumatic and horrific experiences with all sorts of security stations. Is this fodder for your routine as well? Do you use your comedy to work through this?

Maysoon: Listen. If it were not for comedy, every plate [and champagne flute] in my house would be shattered in a million pieces. Comedy is free therapy. And if it’s done well the audience and the comic take turns being the doctor as well as the patient. Laughter heals. Zogby did a poll. Believe me.

MMW: Your image may not coincide with a lot of people’s ideas of what a Muslim woman is. Do you think that helps or hurts the messages you’re sending?

Maysoon: Both. You know not wearing hijab has seriously seriously hurt my career. Mass media wants to see a woman in a veil. But I think it helps me, because it makes it easier for my audience to relate to me. I’m not the scary ‘other’ they keep seeing on Fox News.

Wow, I answered the same question fifteen different ways. It’s kinda like being interrogated by security.

MMW: You’re often portrayed as the “underdog” because of your Palestinian heritage and living with cerebral palsy. Do you feel like the underdog, or does that label bother the hell out of you?

Maysoon: Sigh…I’m 30. Single, and I live with my mother and my cat in New Jersey. So yeah I’m the underdog. But I’m like the Giants in the last 2 minutes of the Superbowl type of underdog. I got a PBS special, an Adam Sandler movie and 732 disabled orphaned refugees who depend on me. So I'm blessed and don’t mind being called an underdog as long as I keep winning Masha'allah. Thanks for the great questions. If you'd like more info on me or my charity check out www.maysoon.com. Salam.

MMW: Tissa, In the PBS special, you talk about removing your headscarf during performances to illustrate that you’re just the same woman with or without it. If you decided to wear it the entire show or not wear it at all, how do you think this would affect your comedy?

Tissa: I have done both – many times (and mainly when I have shorter sets, since I don't have enough time to perform with the hijab and then remove it). The bulk of the jokes have nothing to do with how I'm dressed, so they work with or without the hijab.

MMW: By using the headscarf in your routine, what messages are you trying to convey?

Tissa: That not all veiled Muslim women are silent or oppressed or subservient or terrorists. That a veiled woman isn't someone to revile or fear. I was in Iran last month for my aunt's funeral, and when I was there, I dressed in hijab every day because that's the law. It didn't change who I am. I was still the same person with the same ideas, opinions, and thoughts. And that's what I'm trying to show – that whether I'm veiled or not, I am the exact same person.

MMW: In an article you wrote for iranian.com in which you chronicle your double life as a stand-up comic and an administrative assistant, you state that you’ve received accolades you didn’t deserve and opportunities you didn’t earn. Is this just Iranian ta’arofing (over-politeness)? When you obviously work so hard at your job(s), why do you feel you aren’t deserving of the praise presented to you?

Tissa: What I meant is, if lots and lots of female Muslim stand-up comics had come before me, then no one would even notice me. It's only because I'm one of the first that people pay so much attention. Trust me, in 20 years, no one will be making a documentary about female Muslim stand-up comic #150. ;)

Be sure to check out an interview with all the comedians on ArabComment.

Friday Links -- May 9, 2007

• In an effort to curb Malaysian women used in drug trafficking, the Malaysian Foreign Ministry has proposed that all women traveling out of the country alone have a letter from parents or employers. And, unsurprisingly, this pisses off women. Via Feministing.

• The National Newspaper looks at the evolution of abaya styles.

• A Tunisian family sues a man who they claim raped their daughter over the phone.

• Iraq’s Hero Ibrahim Ahmed (Jalal Talabani’s wife) escapes a roadside bomb attack.

• Egypt’s National Council for Human Rights calls for women’s testimony to become equal to men’s.

• Saudi Arabia’s Labour Minister says there’s no shame for Saudi women to work as housemaids.

• Egyptian blogger Ghada Abdel Aal receives both criticism and praise for her blog.

• Pakistani beauty queen Mahleej Sarkari says she’d like to date President Musharraf. Via Islamify.

• The Post’s Amanda Teuscher tells western feminists to stay out of Muslim women’s hejabs.

• Ghana has one feisty woman rising through the ranks of politics.

• Indian Muslim women voice their opinions on the stereotype of Islam as a religion that is harmful to women.

• Muslim women redefine the western idea of feminism with modest clothes.

• The Carolina Cyclones kick some serious ass—in a gender segregated gym.

• Muslim women in California showcase their artistic talent.

• As more women enter the workforce, Saudi Arabia thinks about redrawing its workplaces.

• A Saudi princess lends her support to a conference calling for clearer rules against domestic violence.

• IslamOnline’s Nesma Abdel-Aziz interviews Rana Husseini about honor killings in Jordan and Norma Khoury’s book Forbidden Love.

• The Star Tribune’s Pamela Miller interviews Muslim lawyer Sumbal Mahmud.

• Antidrown talks about the “Oh My God!” factor and its role in the perception of Muslim women.

• The All-India Muslim Women’s Personal Law Board advocates for more women-only mosques and women-led prayers. The Islamic seminary is not down with this.
  

• The U.S. calls for stiffer penalties in Asian countries that participate in human trafficking.

• Two women in Malaysia work to nurture children and single mothers from their communities. Barikallah!

• Sunni Sister talks about the dumb things that Muslim women do to ourselves. Via Islamify.

• Indian actor Manayata refutes her ex-husband Meraj’s charge of adultery by using her khulla divorce.

• Women in Saudi Arabia campaign to hold weddings earlier in the day.

• Women in Afghanistan face serious health risks associated with childbirth. Via Islamify.

• Something that most of us already know: Islam doesn’t condone domestic violence.

• A court in Maryland rules that a man’s talaq divorce is not valid because it robs a woman her right to due process. YEAH! Via Talk Islam.

• Egyptian Gumbo dishes it out to a columnist who criticized her for getting her own column at her school newspaper.

• A Malaysian court granted a Muslim woman the right to renounce Islam. Via Talk Islam.

• Two Muslim women in Nepal are selected to be members of the Constituent Assembly. Barikallah!

• A German court orders a 12-year-old Muslim girl to attend co-ed swimming lessons, despite the protests of her parents.

• A 19-year-old Jordanian woman was sentenced to 15 years in jail for allegedly poisoning her family.

• Iraqi staff at the British Embassy in Baghdad have come forward with allegations that they've been sexually harassed and abused.

• Religious scholars and human rights activists in Saudi Arabia call for a minimum age for marriage after reports of child marriages in the media.

• Women from Indonesia’s Ahmadiyya sect share their experiences after their mosques were attacked.

• Nigerian Muslim women write and read romance novels with an Islamic educational twist.

• Andrea Useem for Slate takes a look at how putting on and taking of hejab in the U.S. speaks to the "religious mobility" of Muslim women.

Also, if you’re in the U.S., check out PBS’ documentary Stand Up: Muslim American Comics Come of Age. It will air on Sunday, May 11, at 10 pm EST. On Monday, we’ll have an interview with Maysoon Zayid and Tissa Hami, the two Muslim women profiled in the documentary.

Frustrating Encounters

The Birmingham Posts’ Roshan Doug recently blogged about a frustrating experience he had at a retail outlet. Many of us could relate as many of us have been in similar situations. Therefore, I understood much of his frustration throughout the post until......

The clerk he was dealing with was a Muslim woman in a hijab. He mentions this early in the piece. I did wonder why he had mentioned this until I read in his explanatory blog entry which followed this one (which he had to write due to the response to this post) that he mentioned it to set the scene. Makes sense, except that what he was setting the scene for was very problematic. After much frustration in dealing with this clerk, he explains:

I'm also not too impressed with the fact that she throws the card on the desk and not hand it to me - it's a cultural thing apparently. Some Muslim women - like her - avoid all - even the faintest - contact with men.

Now this is quite the assumption to make. There has been nothing in the post indicating her level of conservatism, or what she adheres to religiously. He based this assumption simply on her wearing of a head scarf. It is her status as a hijabi he refers to when he says “like her.” Anyone who knows anything about Muslim women will know that such generalizations are absolutely inaccurate. After all, Doug himself is an ethnic minority and should understand the rudeness of having one generalized with one’s group. But he seems to forget how inaccurate and harmful such generalizations can be when dealing with a woman who wears hijab. Especially since she is more likely to have thrown the card because she was rude, not because she did not want to have contact with him. The no-contact-with-men-whatsoever is not as common a belief as he would have us believe.

He then continues to say:

Why they then take jobs that require dealing with the public on a face to face basis, I have no idea.

Again, he is making this assumption based simply on her hijab. This generalization appears even more inaccurate and foolish since objections to face-to-face association are rare among women who wear hijab. Analyzed further, this statement appears to be based on the underlying belief that women who wear the hijab would prefer to remain within the walls of their home away from society. That they would prefer to not be a part of public life. That they would prefer to remain secluded. Wow! Waaaay too many rude and insulting assumptions being made about hijab-clad Muslim women.

Doug has written a response to this post based on the many complaints against him. And in his response he comes across as an intelligent man. This makes it even more depressing that he would make the assumptions he did. Especially, since he does not explain why he made those assumptions or what they were based on. Was there something we missed? Apparently not. Now whether no complainant brought up this issue or whether he just ignored it if it was brought up, I am not sure, but for some reason he still does believe that the reason she threw the card was because of her interpretation of Islam. I am still at a loss as to how he came to that conclusion and with so much conviction. However, it is very clear that he just does not get it.